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Narcissism negatively impacts relationships. Narcissism is proliferating, effecting more lives and at the heart of so much emotional and spiritual pain and suffering." -- A.J. Mahari

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What is Borderline Personality Disorder?



Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is not only a very painful way to live for those who have BPD but it can be devastating to those who are family members, loved ones, or relationship partners.

The definition of Borderline Personality Disorder from the DSM-IV

"The defining criteria of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects, and marked impulsivity that begins by early adulthood and is present in a variety of contexts, "as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

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  • 1. Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.
  • 2. A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.
  • 3. Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self; or sense of long-term goals; or career choices, types of friends desired or values preferred.
  • 4. Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging: for example; spending, sex, substance abuse, and binge eating.
  • 5. Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior.
  • 6. Affective instability: marked shifts from baseline mood to depression, irritability, or anxiety, usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days.
  • 7. Chronic feelings of emptiness.
  • 8. Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger; frequent displays of temper.
  • 9. Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms.


BPD may co-exist with (to name a few):

  • Narcissitic Personality Disorder
  • Histrionic Personality Disorder
  • Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
  • Mood disorders - Bipolar Disorder
  • Panic/anxiety disorders
  • Substance abuse (54% of BPs also have this problem)
  • Gender identity disorder
  • Eating Disorders
  • Attention deficit disorder
  • Eating disorders
  • Multiple personality disorder
  • Obsessive-compulsive disorder


Borderline personality disorder (BPD) individual's almost always appear to be in a state of crisis. Mood swings are common. These individuals can be argumentative at one moment and depressed at the next and then complain of having no feeling at all, at another time. The rapid and intense shifts in mood and feeling states are the results of those with BPD being triggered into what is known as Emotional Dysregulation in BPD

There may be short-lived psychotic episodes rather than full-blown episodes or psychotic breaks, and the psychotic symptoms of BPD are almost always circumscribed, fleeting, or in doubt. The behavior of a BPD individuals is highly unpredicatable which makes it difficult for these individual's to achieve up to their potential in life.

The repeated self-destructive acts which are "acted out", or in the case of the quiet borderline may be "acted in" by Borderlines reflects the very painful nature of their lives. This self-destructive behavior often takes the form of self-mutilation to either elicit help from others, to express anger, or to numb themselves to overwhelming affect. Overwhelming affect for those with BPD is not only how they feel - their actual emotions, often triggered into what are called dysregulated emotions - but their coinciding inability to cope with or tolerate these emotions.

For much more on Borderline Personality Disorder, specifically, for those with BPD and for loved ones, family members, ex or relationship partners please visit my BPD Website and/or my BPD Blog


© A.J. Mahari, March 20, 2009



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Last up-dated April 13, 2009
































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